You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I deserve this hangover.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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