i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
