Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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