you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's never too late to be topless.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All the doctor said was why
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
