I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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