I'm drive I can fine osifer
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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