His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
