i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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