Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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