The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why didn't you poke me back
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
