She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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