This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
