Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
