Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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