I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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