Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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