its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
