wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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