halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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