Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
