My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
