dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize