It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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