if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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