If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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