4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize