I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
