Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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