yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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