North Korea, Best Korea!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
