I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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