you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will pee on everything he values.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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