I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
