i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
