i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
