Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
