i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
