Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize