After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize