I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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