What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
