Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
the liver wants what the liver wants
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
