What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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