woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
