hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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