and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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