I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize