so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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