I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dear god my vagina.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
