PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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