it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
