I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
