Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
