Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
