was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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