Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
