wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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